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JuJu
27th June 2008, 10:10 AM
hi, one of my good friend miscarriage due to 'crease' (not sure how to spell that) almost a year ago and since then has been trying very hard to concieve. but till now still nothing. wife is in early 30s husband in mid 30s. wife has been rather weak always has headaches and rashes doc said blood not very clean. how huh? i heard TCM can help but any good recommendation of TCM.

also we were joking saying talking about this that night. she said last time younger we said we will not want to have baby cos don't like kids but now when we are ready for one, you just can't get one. i think we really have to becareful about what we speak.

duffyduck
27th June 2008, 11:24 AM
hi, taking about pregnancy... I happened to attend a health talk yesterday on hormonal imbalance. The speaker said sudden stop in pregnancy like miscarriages / abortion, may disrupt the hormonal balance... some of the symptoms are like your fren's - rashes and headaches. To check if suffering from hormonal imbalance, can go to doc to do a saliva test.

irng
3rd July 2008, 04:48 PM
actually i find that pregnancy should be just free and easy, the more you stress on it the more it will not happen. my friend was a good example. they attempted so many times and went for several test, doctors said no problem with health then just when they least expect it it happens.....

juju, tell you friend to take it easy lar. child is god give. he will give you when the time is right, no point forcing it.

JuJu
4th July 2008, 02:26 PM
thanks irng,

i know i've been telling her that but you know lar, some people said u pass the age of 35 it's even more difficult, my friend is already 32 don't try now then when... haiya...

MISS LAZY
8th July 2008, 10:40 AM
hi juju

have your friend consult a gynae? i think better check with doc at hospital ( and i am refering to western medicine. not to say i do not think highly of chinese medicine but i feel at western hospital, they have high tech equipments to do what ever in-depth tests / exmainations on both husband and wife to find out the real cause of not being able to conceive after long period of trying.

yes .. you are right.. as a woman grows older , her chances of conceiving gets slimmer and chances of pregnancy complications increases so i would advise your friend and her spouse not to delay on getting themselves examined any further. if within their finance ability, they have done all the tests they can afford and still cannot conceive, then why not consider adoption, they would be giving a homeless child a home complete with loving parents. that is so noble right?

JuJu
9th July 2008, 10:21 AM
miss lazy, you know lar, traditional mindset, who wants to adopt one if one can have their own. you think like those hollywood celebrities, like angelina jolie, adpot so many kids, that's also she can afford lar. adoption would be the last option for my friend lor... i think...

cookies
10th July 2008, 09:02 AM
this morning on class 95fm venetta and daryl were sharing about why singaporeans do not want to give birth. i think these days, our mindset have changed, couples enjoyed their life that they do not want a kid to come in into their life to spoil the carefree life that they are leading. i have many couple friends who think it this way and one of the very good example is my brother. my brother has been married for 6 years but both of them do not wish to have kids. he said they will lost alot of freedom is one were to come along. they travel for holidays like more then 5 times a week. if with a kid they can never enjoy life like that. but instead, they bought 2 chihuahuas which they treated them like their own kids. the responsibility of having kids and dogs are different. well... these days are not like last time, when family generation is very important. my parents also never say anything. having children these days are very heavy responsibilites unlike last time, life is so simple that's why you see our grandparents time, they have have like 9 children but imagine even 1 child these days is so expensive. food, education, society, lifestyle all go up. how to have babies? if is the society forced us into this suitation? let's all ponder about it......

don enemy
10th July 2008, 10:10 AM
i have an ex superior. she is around 35 yrs old. husband earning well enough as a real estate agent , he earns enough to support her so for her, if she wants to quit her job to be a tai tai, it is possible. she is so used to her freedom and current lifestyle of going on holidays a few times every yr with friends and family and buying pretty clothes. she has very little interest to think about having a baby. one of the reason also due to her 'advanced' age. she is afraid of those painful examinations matured pregnant mothers have to take. she has no confidence she can be a good mother. she has a little dog called mui mui ( she owns a few branded bag ) whom she loves very much like her own daughter. she cooks for mui mui. brings her to vet and spend hundreds of medical fees on her. she takes leave if mui mui falls sick.

very much like cookies's brother. the pet dog is like a substitution of a child. nowadays ppl have confidence to raise a pet dog rather than a child. guess when a child misbehaves, ppl can blame parents for not teaching child well. if a pet dog misbehaves, dog owner can always said it is its beastly nature at work.

ling
10th July 2008, 10:50 AM
mm... when I'm younger... I used to think I won't want to start family so soon coz there are so much things to do and enjoy in life. but as i aged (keke), my mindset starts to change (dunno if it's the hormone at work)... Having niece and nephew at home also kind of soften my heart for kids. As age is catching on, I starts to get concern about able to conceive when I want to... so now I take care of my health more. I think for some pp, mindset really do change with times. Perspective and priority also shift. No right or wrong though. =)

JuJu
10th July 2008, 11:16 AM
wow from unable to concieve to being a responsible parents. i want to contribute my share of thoughts as well.

i agreed with cookies, during our grandparents time, they have like a dozen children but our time, one is already so difficult.

i ponder upon what cookies said, is it the society forced us into our current mindset? i believe so... however on the other end, the society needs to progress, we can't stay in the black and white TV or police in bermudas era. when society progress, naturally living expenses goes up, expectation goes up. we want our children to be competitive (as the saying goes, losers will be outcast). in other not to be outcast, parents need to be 'kaisu'. which parent does not want to give the best to their children, by having a dozen of kids, can we give all the children the best in education, yes... can provided we have a big pocket. if not frankly i rather only to have 1 or 2 kids and nuture them with the best so they will not be loser next.

imagine our life now is so difficult, if we don't nuture our kids to be the best, imagine how difficult their life will be during our adulthood.

precious
21st October 2008, 12:03 PM
having my kids myself, I noe the exact joy & pain of being a parent.
we took abt 1 entire year trying to conceive our 1st bb. It was after I stopped my pill for about 3 months. The agony of seeing red was still vivid in my mind :P
But when I eventually delivered my son, then learned tt we were on our own in nurturing this young life. my mum backed up from her earlier promise to take care of bb during confinement. think the graveyard was too much for her... after one day trial :P really regreted not to get confinement lady as mum said too ex liao, why nt let her do it... then this happened....
so personally, i think the family support is more important then $$$ incentive. at this moment, NO #3 for me... trying hard to make sure no more accidents (#2) hahahaha

McMuffin
23rd October 2008, 02:49 PM
Having children seems like such a paradox. Huge responsibility and sacrifices but also huge satisfaction... if the child turns out well. I shudder to imagine how terrible it will be if the kid turns out bad. Wa precious, are you one of those super moms who work and raise kids at the same time?

JuJu
24th October 2008, 09:44 AM
having my kids myself, I noe the exact joy & pain of being a parent.
we took abt 1 entire year trying to conceive our 1st bb. It was after I stopped my pill for about 3 months. The agony of seeing red was still vivid in my mind :P
But when I eventually delivered my son, then learned tt we were on our own in nurturing this young life. my mum backed up from her earlier promise to take care of bb during confinement. think the graveyard was too much for her... after one day trial :P really regreted not to get confinement lady as mum said too ex liao, why nt let her do it... then this happened....
so personally, i think the family support is more important then $$$ incentive. at this moment, NO #3 for me... trying hard to make sure no more accidents (#2) hahahaha

yar i can understand too... my daughter is coming 11 months old, i'm a working mom and i work everyday even on weekends, fortunately, my mom helps me to take care of her. just like your mom, we wanted to engaged a maid but my mom said don't waste the money. frankly speaking, i don't really have much time with my daughter due to my work commitment. i rather a family member to take care of her then putting her in the hands of someone else.

gloriajean
24th October 2008, 11:31 AM
Having children seems like such a paradox. Huge responsibility and sacrifices but also huge satisfaction... if the child turns out well. I shudder to imagine how terrible it will be if the kid turns out bad. Wa precious, are you one of those super moms who work and raise kids at the same time?

mm...I think with humans, you can never be sure how they will turn out. We can only try our best to raise the children... ultimately it's really their choice if they will follow. anyway, our teaching may be wrong too... haha. that's why the chinese saying "when the top part of the pole is not straight, so will the lower part".

What's the defination of "well" anyway?

ling
24th October 2008, 11:53 AM
Hi gloria,

I can relate to what you say...what exactly is "well"?

Recently, a youth that I know...jumped off his flat on the 1st day of his O level. Nobody knows why. He's a well behaved kid. helpful and friendly. Not the outstanding, distinguished type but well brought-up kid in everyone's eyes. Just that nobody knows why such a nice kid make a drastic decision.

Curry Chicken
24th October 2008, 03:16 PM
Well, I certainly cannot relate to what you guys mean by "what is well?" Think you gals think too deep liao. Well means well. Here are a couple of definitions from the dictionary:

1. in a good or satisfactory manner
2. in a moral or proper manner
3. with propriety, justice, or reason

:cool:

gloriajean
24th October 2008, 06:03 PM
tks curry chicken for yr english lesson.

Then may I know how you measure "proper", "good" & "satisfactory"? I mean nowadays the society is so messy... wat is proper 20yrs back, may be some old-fashioned joke... anyone still think it's not "proper" to hv pre-marital sex? accepting some "token of appreciation" or "kopi money" is the norm. not trying to be pious here...but just confused with the grey areas.

JuJu
25th October 2008, 10:01 AM
aiyo why all still talking about the 'well' word. well means well lar, all of us has a different defination of well. if u think your term of 'well' is good enough then good lor. no need to compare with others lar.