Pregnancy

[JuJu]

hi, one of my good friend miscarriage due to 'crease' (not sure how to spell that) almost a year ago and since then has been trying very hard to concieve. but till now still nothing. wife is in early 30s husband in mid 30s. wife has been rather weak always has headaches and rashes doc said blood not very clean. how huh? i heard TCM can help but any good recommendation of TCM.

also we were joking saying talking about this that night. she said last time younger we said we will not want to have baby cos don't like kids but now when we are ready for one, you just can't get one. i think we really have to becareful about what we speak.

[duffyduck]

hi, taking about pregnancy... I happened to attend a health talk yesterday on hormonal imbalance. The speaker said sudden stop in pregnancy like miscarriages / abortion, may disrupt the hormonal balance... some of the symptoms are like your fren's - rashes and headaches. To check if suffering from hormonal imbalance, can go to doc to do a saliva test.

[irng]

actually i find that pregnancy should be just free and easy, the more you stress on it the more it will not happen. my friend was a good example. they attempted so many times and went for several test, doctors said no problem with health then just when they least expect it it happens.....

juju, tell you friend to take it easy lar. child is god give. he will give you when the time is right, no point forcing it.

[JuJu]

thanks irng,

i know i've been telling her that but you know lar, some people said u pass the age of 35 it's even more difficult, my friend is already 32 don't try now then when... haiya...

[MISS LAZY]

hi juju

have your friend consult a gynae? i think better check with doc at hospital ( and i am refering to western medicine. not to say i do not think highly of chinese medicine but i feel at western hospital, they have high tech equipments to do what ever in-depth tests / exmainations on both husband and wife to find out the real cause of not being able to conceive after long period of trying.

yes .. you are right.. as a woman grows older , her chances of conceiving gets slimmer and chances of pregnancy complications increases so i would advise your friend and her spouse not to delay on getting themselves examined any further. if within their finance ability, they have done all the tests they can afford and still cannot conceive, then why not consider adoption, they would be giving a homeless child a home complete with loving parents. that is so noble right?

[JuJu]

miss lazy, you know lar, traditional mindset, who wants to adopt one if one can have their own. you think like those hollywood celebrities, like angelina jolie, adpot so many kids, that's also she can afford lar. adoption would be the last option for my friend lor... i think...

[cookies]

this morning on class 95fm venetta and daryl were sharing about why singaporeans do not want to give birth. i think these days, our mindset have changed, couples enjoyed their life that they do not want a kid to come in into their life to spoil the carefree life that they are leading. i have many couple friends who think it this way and one of the very good example is my brother. my brother has been married for 6 years but both of them do not wish to have kids. he said they will lost alot of freedom is one were to come along. they travel for holidays like more then 5 times a week. if with a kid they can never enjoy life like that. but instead, they bought 2 chihuahuas which they treated them like their own kids. the responsibility of having kids and dogs are different. well... these days are not like last time, when family generation is very important. my parents also never say anything. having children these days are very heavy responsibilites unlike last time, life is so simple that's why you see our grandparents time, they have have like 9 children but imagine even 1 child these days is so expensive. food, education, society, lifestyle all go up. how to have babies? if is the society forced us into this suitation? let's all ponder about it......

[don enemy]

i have an ex superior. she is around 35 yrs old. husband earning well enough as a real estate agent , he earns enough to support her so for her, if she wants to quit her job to be a tai tai, it is possible. she is so used to her freedom and current lifestyle of going on holidays a few times every yr with friends and family and buying pretty clothes. she has very little interest to think about having a baby. one of the reason also due to her 'advanced' age. she is afraid of those painful examinations matured pregnant mothers have to take. she has no confidence she can be a good mother. she has a little dog called mui mui ( she owns a few branded bag ) whom she loves very much like her own daughter. she cooks for mui mui. brings her to vet and spend hundreds of medical fees on her. she takes leave if mui mui falls sick.

very much like cookies's brother. the pet dog is like a substitution of a child. nowadays ppl have confidence to raise a pet dog rather than a child. guess when a child misbehaves, ppl can blame parents for not teaching child well. if a pet dog misbehaves, dog owner can always said it is its beastly nature at work.

[ling]

mm... when I'm younger... I used to think I won't want to start family so soon coz there are so much things to do and enjoy in life. but as i aged (keke), my mindset starts to change (dunno if it's the hormone at work)... Having niece and nephew at home also kind of soften my heart for kids. As age is catching on, I starts to get concern about able to conceive when I want to... so now I take care of my health more. I think for some pp, mindset really do change with times. Perspective and priority also shift. No right or wrong though. =)

[JuJu]

wow from unable to concieve to being a responsible parents. i want to contribute my share of thoughts as well.

i agreed with cookies, during our grandparents time, they have like a dozen children but our time, one is already so difficult.

i ponder upon what cookies said, is it the society forced us into our current mindset? i believe so... however on the other end, the society needs to progress, we can't stay in the black and white TV or police in bermudas era. when society progress, naturally living expenses goes up, expectation goes up. we want our children to be competitive (as the saying goes, losers will be outcast). in other not to be outcast, parents need to be 'kaisu'. which parent does not want to give the best to their children, by having a dozen of kids, can we give all the children the best in education, yes... can provided we have a big pocket. if not frankly i rather only to have 1 or 2 kids and nuture them with the best so they will not be loser next.

imagine our life now is so difficult, if we don't nuture our kids to be the best, imagine how difficult their life will be during our adulthood.